So Tired…
There are days, and the last few have been among them, when I feel like I’m just barely keeping shit together. It’s not even that there is some big overhanging thing that needs taking care of. Still, all the little insignifia that is life feels barely contained. Things like paying bills. Being even marginally productive at work. Maintaining the minimum in those very few relationships that I have in my life. Even keeping up on those things I claim to truly enjoy. All is a struggle.
I believe I’m likely suffering with undiagnosed ADHD, but I can’t even fucking gather myself enough to even look how to get started addressing that.
Just so tired…
Begin Again, Again
Alas, here I am. Again.
Planning to begin again. Again.
C’est la vie. Hello world! Maybe the third time’s a charm… ;)
Good Riddance 2023
I realize - being a middle-aged white man living in the US, with a warm place to lie my head down, with enough food in the pantry, with a bit of cash in the bank, with a loving wife and a son I adore - I’m in a position many would trade for in an instant.
But 2023 cannot enter my rearview mirror soon enough. While most of the year was actually fine, the last quarter of the year is testing me. My son’s mental health issues revealed themselves in an absolute mental breakdown a couple days following my birthday. Realizing that I reside in a community whose sense of morality seems to wildly diverge from my own, this lonely individual feels even lonelier. Getting sued (in small claims court, but still) for an ancient medical expense that I’m positive has been paid but cannot prove because of something entirely out of my control. And now, just before Xmas, receiving the news that my wife of 25+ years has cancer that has spread to a yet-to-be-determined extent.
Enough. Let it end already. And 2024: Be nice. I’m a little raw right now.
December 31, 2023 at 4:26pm
2023
mental health
cancer
lonely
Begin Again
If anything, I’m good about intending to do things. As in, intending to post something here consistenly. Which, as you can see now that it’s been 7 months (!) since my last post here, shows how successful I was at that… 🙄
Ah, well, time to begin again.
Hi!
Hello World!
Isn’t this post required whenever you start a new blog?